“ REFLECTIONS ”
WHAT
I KNOW
By Yvonne Vernon
Copyright 2000
I know of childhood
!
I know about
children
lost and vulnerable,
of anger and confusion,
torn from all, good and
bad,
that represented
for them
home, love and security.
I know about
loneliness.
Children thrust
into an alien
environment,
seeking solace
for grief,
hungry for
kind words, understanding,
an embrace
for sobs of need.
Children desperate
for some semblance of normality
in the ‘human condition’.
I know of childhood
need for memories,
a link to a
past,
with which
to relate,
in an overwhelming
sea of indifference
or ignorant
complacency.
I know of childhood
emptiness.
A parents death,
the pain of
unresolved grief,
separation
and loss,
kept secret, unshared,
of abandonment.
Young minds
and hearts in trauma,
seeking sense
in their displacement.
I know of childhood
perceptions.
Emotionally
sterile environment as punishment,
for perceived
self-inadequacy,
loss of love
as unworthiness.
What
did I do wrong?
I’m sorry….
Come
and take me home,
I’ll
be good, I promise,
Please! Please!
I know of childhood
acceptance.
Submersion
of needs for love, affection, human
warmth,
along with
cherished memories buried deep in the psyche,
in order to
survive
in an emotional
void.
I know about
subterfuge! Powerless,
defenseless confusion.
A child branded
and maligned,
Liar! Bad Seed! Scum!
because of truth
argued on deaf
ears.
Physical & emotional
separation from siblings.
Punishment!
because Secrets had to be kept.
I know about
insincerity,
enforced gratitude,
for the ‘right to be’
for the necessities
to sustain life,
a compulsory
component of
‘being needy’.
I know about
Doctrine!
The ethos of
“The
sins of the father
visited upon
the child”.
The ripping
apart of belief
in treasured
memories,
in the name
of
“Saving”
the child.
A ‘decent
God fearing upbringing’
at
any cost!
I know about
Religion!
of God presented
as a
“God
of anger” vengeful, jealous,
the punisher
of sin.
The ‘Love’
of God….
an afterthought.
I know about
“GOOD PEOPLE”!
About lies,
even where
truth was irrefutable,
about smothered
individualism,
initiative
and spirit,
under the guise
of ‘benevolence’.
I know about
the few good people who could never stay,
they managed
the fine balance of ‘job’ with personal humility,
They made a
difference in our bereft childhoods,
however slight
they may think,
in a system
that enshrined a religious and caring ethos,
but functioned
in a separatist
ideology.
The “needy”
poor,
seen as the
agents
of their own
destiny,
socially
and morally bankrupt.
I know about
adulthood!
I understand
emotional survival techniques,
adopted by
children under threat, to survive pain,
trauma, abandonment
and displacement.
I know about
‘Growing up’!
The pain of
being invisible, unwanted & used
the constraints
of life fulfillment,
of self-responsibility
for life choices,
the futility
of emotional baggage,
as an excuse
or crutch.
I am the product
of Nature
I am the product
of lack of Nurture.
I take responsibility
for me,
my actions, my thoughts,
my space.
I know pain
of failure,
elation in
triumph,
regret for
lost opportunities.
I accept the
myriad facets
of my character.
I know about Reflections!
Contemplation
of childhood
can be a painful,
funny journey
and illuminates
the dichotomy
for all
Forgotten Australians
childhoods.
Our sharing
of stories
and memories,
the sadness,
the pain,
the suffering,
the isolation,
the abuse
I know about
the fun, gaiety,
merriment
and pleasures,
we the Forgotten
Children,
We
the Forgotten Australians derived from each other
and shared
in the reconstructed Families
We created amongst ourselves.
That ensures
the balance
is not lost
in the dross.
I know about
indebtedness!
we all bring
to each other today,
not only our
personal experiences of childhood,
but also our
adult acceptance, maturity and diversity.
We share the
need for roots
firmly anchored
in a sense
of family ties
and traditions,
that we the
unwanted,
the unloved
and the forgotten
can only truly
understand.
Thank you my
fellow
Forgotten Australians
for being the
catalyst for
“The spirit of the extended family”
we never had”
Yvonne Vernon
Dalmar 1950-1958
Copyright © 2000
All rights reserved
